The Way

Once there was a warrior, who was known for his great abilities and mastery of all skill. Many young men came to him to learn to be warriors.

One day a lone man came to the camp of the old warrior, and when questioned he said he came to learn the art of the warrior.

The old warrior told the young man to sit, and sup with him. The meal was to be of fish and rice, and they both bowed their heads and said thanks for the grains and life of the fish. When they finished praying the young man began adding spices to his meal, as the old warrior sat and ate with a smile. After they finished the young man was made to perform many exercises of strength and might, all of which he performed without fail and with much skill.

When the young man finished his performance he was sent away, and told he could not become a warrior then.

One of the warrios students came to him and said "Master, forgive me, but I must know why you sent the young man away, he had much skill."

"He had much skill with his physical body, but he had no skill with his spirit, and was not ready to become a warrior."

While the old man enjoyed his food as it was, because it nourished his body, and represented the cycle of all things, the young man was concerned only with the temporary sensation of taste, and could not enjoy his food as it was.

This is the way of the warrior, to enjoy because of what life is, not because of what it temporarily isnt.

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Once there was a master, and he told the young monks to write about the place where they were happiest, using the most beautiful description they could.

All of the monks composed beautiful pieces of poetry and prose and presented them to the master. He read them aloud, and then told them that none was better than his own piece.

Shocked by what seemed to be arrogance in the master, the monks begin to protest, but were silenced by the master as he read his own work aloud.

"Here on the mountain, with myself."

In this way he showed them the essence of the Tao. In nothingness, is everything.

The Net

"The atom is the icon of the 20th century. The atom whirls alone. It is the metaphor for individuality. But the atom is the past. The symbol for the next century is the net. The net has no center, no orbits, no certainty. It is an indefinite web of causes. The net is the archetype displayed to represent all circuits, all intelligence, all interdependence, all things economic, social, or ecological, all communications, all democracy, all families, all large systems, almost all that we find interesting and important." Kevin Kelly

Love that. Am scared to death by that, but I love it. Such a wonderful way of putting it, and os true.

Night Smoke

The earthy brown tube, the colour of rich planters soil and smelling of tobacco musk, cedar and a hint of earth itself. Smoke curls from the flat end as it turns across the flame of the match, and I inhale. Smoke rushes up between the hand-wrapped leaves, swarming through the hole punched in the end and filling my palate with its heavy taste.
There is a delicious irresponsibility in this rare vice, I know its bad for me and I enjoy doing it anyway.
The cigar tastes sweet to my lips and its smoke musky on my tongue but not too harsh. I draw in a small taste, let it dance across my mouth and exhale. Taking a quick look at the end to see that its evenly burning I shake out the match and toss it to the ground.
I look up at the moon as I exhale another mouthful of smoke, and it dances like ghosting shadows across the glowing white half-orb.
The cool night breeze plays up, and somewhere in the unseen dark an animal howls a lonely desperate cry. Not a wolf or a coyote, some strange bird it sounds to be. Other things rustle and move, shaking the trees and sending whispers through the grass.
My focus goes away from the cigar and I draw too deeply, getting smoke into my lungs. This time the taste is like that of ash, almost burning my mouth with its heat. I cough and spit... this is not how to enjoy a cigar. I draw fresh night air and hold it in my mouth, its cleanliness washing away the hot smoke.

Even things that are bad for you, can be enjoyed in extreme moderation. In the temporariness of life if one never steps outside the bounds, does a few unhealthy things, what do you ever really know about life, or yourself?
I dont want to go into the next world as pristine and clean as I came into it. I want to be a comfortably worn, wrinkled, slightly broken body, that comes in with one engine out, the other smoking and a shit eating grin on my face screaming "who-eee! It t'were a bit longer than eight seconds, but it t'was sure one hell of a ride!".
But not too soon... all things in excess... all excess in moderation.
This is why I dont own a humidor - I dont want a cigar collection, nor do I want them available to me any time or all the time. Once in a great while though, such silent irresponsibilities taste great... on the palliate and the soul.

Nickelodeon Re-Writes American History

Nick' Tells it Like it.... isn’t?

Here’s the transcript of the original Nick' broadcast -

"My name is Fabiola and I’m from San Antonio, Texas and the Alamo is in my backyard.

In 1718, the Mission of San Antonio de Valero was established.

The church structure is still standing today and it’s known as the Alamo.

The battle for the Alamo is often remembered as the rebellion of a small group of brave Texas farmers fighting against the Mexican army.

What you may not know is that at the time, Texas was a part of Mexico.

By the early 1800s, most of the people living in San Antonio were farmers who brought their slaves with them.

In 1829, Mexico abolished slavery and what followed was years of conflict between white farmers who wanted to keep their slaves and Mexican authorities.

This conflict led up to the battle for the Alamo.

In the end, General Santa Anna and 5000 Mexican soldiers surrounded the Alamo.

And all of the defenders of the mission were killed.

So, when you remember the Alamo, think of the soldiers, the battles and the true story behind it."

So this is what passes for history when it comes to educating our youth?
Of course it is. In the era of political correctness, when strong independence of the type that stood to fight at the Alamo is regarded as boorish and out of line (your minders, your supposed betters, don’t like it when you think for yourself, it threatens their control of you - strength and independence are wrong), an even like the Alamo can only be taught within some demeaning context.
It’s okay for the Mexicans to have used force against the men at the Alamo, especially if they were just slave owners right? That’s what they fought the Civil War about, after-all, wasn’t it?

Where does it end? Even I was taught in public school that the War for States Rights was fought over Slavery and nothing more. By the time I have children, they will probably be teaching that was why the Alamo was fought too.
Independence is fine, for the oppressed minority groups like Black slaves and Mexican soldiers (murderers) but white people are not allowed, especially those who actually have a set of balls and have little qualms about killing those who need killing. That’s wrong, because I guess we are somehow supposed to be inferior. No, its rarely ever said out-right, but that’s where all this kind of revisionism points, towards painting independent strong American's from Revolutionaries to Rebels as horrendous fiends, human rights abusers on the scale of Aparthied Afrikaans. Lies by implication - backhanded half-truth implications to begin with. What happened to "Equality"? Oh wait, I forgot, it's another one of their lies.
(And lest anyone cry I am a White Supremacist, raving against minority groups, I am not... I despise white supremacists and separatists - Anti-social, maybe, racist? Never. I consider myself a realist, and dislike most of humanity in an abstract sense, leaving for individuals of any colour race and creed to sway me personally and directly as to how I regard them.)
This kind of bullshit is like some mutated form of the malignant cancer that originated as half-hearted Liberal stroke jobs, from rich white "bleeding hearts" to try and buy their way into minority sympathy for one way or another, to assuage some sense of guilt that they may have possessed. For their guilt, we must all carry guilt for being evil white revolutionaries, who would dare try to claim freedom for ourselves, dare to use violence.
The mutation occurs when this sort of thing butts up against other liberal agendas, such as the anti-gun movement, where-in people in an attempt to hide from the really real world because its just a little harder than they'd like to see, they try to paint everything strong or violent as wrong, because it threatens two things for them, first strength and the ability to use it threaten them because they lack it and are jealous of it, and second, as if often the case these kind of people think they know better than everyone else - but find trouble convincing the independent spirit, especially the well armed one, of their supreme "rightness". I doubt its even a conscious effort with many of them, its a subconscious control-act. Make everyone submissive, subservient and subordinate to those with money and influence. The problem comes when they raise the flag and call others to them, who actually believe in the "nice-ified" versions of this, social out-reach and everybody need a hug programs, and amass legions of following herd beasts who pay nary a thought as to whether or not their "liberal goodness" might actually have a darker, and far less "liberal" mission.
(Not to say I am not a "Liberal" although I despise that term - I lean to the left on some issues, and do believe in some social programs which the Right/Conservatives wish to abolish because I can personally attest I'm not living on the street thanks to some of them, and I lean to the right on other issues, because I can personally attest that I am alive and its not because some Democrat douche tried to make it illegal for my parents to own guns. Some people need help - but ALL people need freedom, absolute unchallenged freedom.)

This re-telling of the Alamo is a sick melding of the above attitudes towards independence, non-minority groups and war. Unfortunately, these misguided values are what is being taught to our children as the truth, about our past, our present and our future. Its not that I don’t want a world of peace sunshine and happiness, its just that there are two types of people, both of whom dream for that world - but half of us dream about it because it sounds like a nice place to live, and the other half dream about it because it sounds like a nice place to pillage, and I don’t believe such a world can ever exist until we've killed all the people who would pillage it and used them as crop fertilizer. Unfortunately, since this desire and drive is quite basely human, we have a long road ahead of us - and until such day as we find an end to that road, armies, strong tough men will be needed to fight, and defend, the good decent people. Independent, strong fighters are no less good or decent, they are simply the strong-arm of the good and the decent, the thin red line against tyranny, oppression and cruelty toward the innocent. Such men (and today women) as those who stood at the Alamo forsake their innocence, so that you can retain a measure of yours.

The real story of the Alamo was not that the 189 were fighting to retain their Slaves; they were fighting against a force that wished to take their freedom. The Texas revolution had not begun overly slavery; it began because Mexico rescinded its Constitution, leaving the citizens of Texas without rights. The original rebellion was simply to attempt to reinstate the Constitution, but when that measure appeared hopeless it became a revolution for freedom from oppression.
The defenders of the Alamo stood to fight against odds they all knew were unbeatable, and when given the option to flee only one man stood back from the rest who stepped forward to fight. Knowing they would probably die, the defenders of the Alamo stood and fought to their bitter ends, believing that if they fought hard enough, died hard enough, they could hold Santa Ana's army long enough for the other forces of the Texas revolution, Texan and Tejano alike, to mount a resistance and defeat Santa Anna. They fought and died trying to defend their freedoms, and the freedom of all Texians and Tejanos.
Santa Anna was not a soldier for peace, he was not a soldier for right - he was a murderous and brutal leader, who less than a month after slaying all defenders of the Alamo, had around 350 men his forces had taken prisoner marched into a field in Goliad Texas, and shot to death, after making promises to each of them that he would be going home soon. After being shot, the bodies of the men were burned and left to stink and rot in the heat.

Take it upon yourselves to learn about the history of this (or any) Nation. Do not trust single outside sources, do the work yourself. We are all doomed if we forget our history. What we forget, we are destined to repeat.

Stories

Speaking of stories, here: http://heroinegirl.blogspot.com
That we could all have such courage, and so fiercely...

[Update: In the future, use this link instead of the above, she's moving and I know I wont remember to come back and edit this when she's got it all over at the new URL - http://www.junkylife.com/heroinegirl/ ]

Time Stories

Time has lost itself, folded away somewhere into repetition, deja vu and randomness. A week becomes a month becomes two hours, and I cannot possibly sleep long enough. I slept in the car yesterday, I slept sprawled on whatever piece of furniture was there for five minute bursts between working. Today could be yesterday, it could be Sunday... it could be any time, the suns up but that doesnt mean its not night. Somewhere.
This is what exhaustion feels like, when you dont have the time to give in to it, when its slow burning and taking its time ravaging you. Emotion, pain, joy, work and unsatisfied lust... borrowed against small indulgences I cant really afford... I am moving from one of these things to the other right now. Assembly line style living... its not even going with the flow, just "the program".

There are stories all around us - all around you - all the time, stories we might not ever hear unless we look, and listen, make ourselves available for them to be told. Some stories are told on wind and air, the story of someone walking past, that little hint of sadness stemming from some deep terror and pain that they can never get all of out of their eyes. You see it all the time, but maybe you never hear the stories.
The hospital is full of stories, you spend enough time there and in your own desperation, that need to reach out across some void and make contact with someone who understands and who's fear, pain, anger can match yours beat for beat, you start to hear many of them even if normally you dont listen.
I have a gift for stories, I listen naturally, I hear naturally, I can see and read. Sometimes they tell the stark truth. Sometimes they are lies, fantasies, fever dreams... but they tell the truth too. A lie is just the mask put on the truth, and if listener believes it, the teller told it somehow.
The stories can tease and turn on, they can frighten or do both, and sometimes remind you that you arent that bad, or connect you through shared human experience.
It breaks you out of your shell somehow, connects you to the voices of muse and the universe, to other beings... there are stories all around. Listen to the stories... find them, make yourself available to hear them, even whispered on the wind, it will help you, guide you.

Supposed "Education", the Death of Us All....

I happened to come across the following article this evening: http://www.kansascity.com/mld/kansascity/news/nation/11583319.htm
Since that link will probably eventually die, I am actually going to steal it, so bare with me and actually read this...

Student suspended over call from mom serving in Iraq
BY ANGELIQUE SOENARIE

Knight Ridder Newspapers

COLUMBUS, Ga. - (KRT) - Kevin Francois gave up his lunch break to talk to his mother, but it ended up costing him the rest of the school year.

Francois, a junior at Spencer High School in Columbus, was suspended for disorderly conduct Wednesday after he was told to give up his cell phone at lunch while talking to his mother who is deployed in Iraq, he said.

His mother, Sgt. 1st Class Monique Bates, left in January for a one-year tour and serves with the 203rd Forward Support Battalion, 3rd Brigade, 3rd Infantry Division.

"This is our first time separated like this," said Francois, 17, on Thursday.

Bates came to Fort Benning with her son from Hunter Army Airfield in Savannah, Ga. She enrolled him at Spencer in August. Since her deployment overseas, Francois, whose father was killed when he was 5 years old, lives with a guardian who has five children in Columbus.

The incident happened when Francois received a call from his mother at 12:30 p.m., which he said was his lunch break. Francois said he went outside the school building to get a better reception when his mother called. A teacher who saw Francois on his phone told him to get off the phone. But he didn't.

According to the Muscogee County School District Board of Education's policy, students are allowed to have cell phones in school, but cannot use them during school hours.

"They are really allowed to have those cell phones so that after band or after chorus or after the debate and practices are over they have to coordinate with the parents," said Alfred Parham, assistant principal at Spencer. "They're not supposed to use them for conversating back and forth during school because if they were allowed to do that, they could be text messaging each other for test questions."

Francois said he told the teacher, "This is my mom in Iraq. I'm not about to hang up on my mom."

Francois said the teacher tried to take the phone, causing it to hang up.

The student said he then went with the teacher to the school's office where he surrendered his phone. His mother called again at 12:37 p.m. and left a message scolding her son about hanging up and telling him to answer the phone when she calls.

Parham said the teen's suspension was based on his reaction when he was asked to give up the cell phone and told about the school's cell phone policy.

"Kevin got defiant and disorderly with Mr. Turner and another assistant principal," Parham said Thursday. "He got defiant with me. He refused to leave Mr. Turner's office. When a kid becomes out of control like that they can either be arrested or suspended for 10 days. Now being that his mother is in Iraq, we're not trying to cause her any undue hardship; he was suspended for 10 days."

Wendall Turner is another assistant principal at Spencer.

Parham said the student used profanity when he was taken into the office. He said he tried to work out something with the student. But Francois said he was too frustrated he couldn't answer the phone when his mother called him the second time.

"I even asked Kevin, 'You know we can try to work something out to where if your mother wants to call you she can call you at the school,'" Parham said. "So we've tried to work with Kevin and we're going to continue to try to work with Kevin and his mother and his relatives. In the course of good order and discipline, we have to abide by our policy."

Francois admitted he was partially at fault for his behavior but said he should have been allowed to talk to his mother.

"I was mad at the time, but I feel now maybe I should've went about it differently," he said. "Maybe I should've just waited outside to pick up the phone. But I don't I feel I should've changed any of my actions. I feel I was right by not hanging up the phone."

For Francois, he said he gets to hear from his mother once a month, and phone calls vary depending on when she can use the phone in Iraq. Francois said his mother calls as late as 1 a.m. to 3 a.m. and tries to catch him during hours he's awake. He said the phone call Wednesday was the first time she called him while he was at school.

Francois, who said he has been struggling with his grades in school, wants to go back to school and finish the rest of his year. He fears he may have to pay for summer school because of his punishment.

"My grades had been low, but I was bringing them up. My grades were coming back up. On one of my report cards I had like a 'F' in one of my classes, but I brought it back up to a low 'C.' This just brought me all the way down."

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© 2005, Columbus Ledger-Enquirer (Columbus, Ga.).

Now isnt that nice?
Yes, I find it quite lovely... the compassion, the empathy, the fairness... or I should say, the lack of all those things. Leave such a unique taste in the mouth... that is if you find shit unique.
This one statement from Mr. Parham is, frankly, scary:

"He got defiant with me. He refused to leave Mr. Turner's office. When a kid becomes out of control like that they can either be arrested or suspended for 10 days."

This is the American education system of today - if a student disagrees with teachers, refuses to accept their heavy handed rules and regulations, dares to defy their supposed "authority", he or she can be arrested. The police will come, put the child in handcuffs, put them in the back of a squad car and take them to jail.
If this doesnt strike you as wrong, you need a new pair of reality glasses, your old prescription isnt working.
Teachers and school administrators in this nation are given a power over children that is akin to that of God, otherwise known as their parents. They also have a burden of trust, and a great responsibility. They are trusted by parents, and in fact the public at large, to provide the youth of our nation with the knowledge and skills they need to survive and get ahead in this world, and to be self-actualized people. They have the responsibility to do this to the best of their ability. And across the board they are failing.
Those who should be enablers are disablers, those who should strive for betterment strive only for mediocrity, those who should be pushing the ideals of individualism and free will instead force a doctrine of obiedience and absolute adherance to a system of rules and regulations. Instead of teaching students about the world and how to work and survive in it in a positive way, that shapes their view in terms of what they can do as individuals with minds of their own, public schools and the officials there-of teach students about the world in a negative way, shaping their view based on what they cannot do, on the rules, regulations and politically correct doctrine of how to live a life just like everyone elses, where there is no better or worse, "everyone is a super-star" student/worker-bee/grist for the mill...
It is all bullshit and it is killing us, and it wont be a slow death... but it will be painful.
Such disabiling of the youth of tomorrow all but ensures our defeat on the global economic and political field. If we cannt muster the resources of creative development to remain competative in the global markets, our nation will quickly go under. We are already in enough trouble as it is, gas prices are coming close to breaking us and recovering from that once is starts to improve will take decades - if we suddenly plumet to the bottom of the global economic food-chain, we will never recover. Unfortunately, the only resource we truly have left to keep us from doing that is an intellectual resource, and thanks to our state controlled, tax payer funded public schools, we are looking at an ever shrinking pool of creative intellectual talent in this country.
It is simply sickening.
We should be encouraging students to be individuals, to be self actualizing, to be independant and to be proud of being better, smarter, faster, than others, even their classmates. Life is rarely what we might call perfectly fair, but is is balanced, and treating everyone the same way because thats closer to "fair for everyone" than the natural order is, simply, wrong-headed and completely unbalanced. Some people are better than others, some people are smarter than others, and some people are more deserving of the career and personal benefits of their gifts. We have to accept this and embrace it, instead of shunning it because it is not politically correct.
Political correctness and zero tolerance are destroying our future - the kids in todays public schools are not the leaders of tomorrow, there are no leaders of tomorrow if thats all we have to work with. You cannot lead a ruin.

Open Letter to Spencer High School Principal and Mr. Parham:

Recently I read a news item regarding a student at Spencer High School by the name of Kevin Francois who was suspended for using his cell-phone to talk to his mother, who is currently deployed in Iraq.

Yes, in the news item I did read the comments of Alfred Parham as to the students supposedly "bad behavior" being the reason for his suspension, and all I can say is that it is nothing short of a load of hogwash.

Obviously Mr. Parham, Mr. Turner and any other school officials involved do not have parents and were simply spawned from beneath slimy rocks by a chemical reaction between algae and pond slime, otherwise they would understand the bond between a young man and his parent. Particularly his only surviving parent currently deployed to one of the most dangerous places in the world.

It is the claimed job of school officials, from the administration to the teachers; to help young men and women learn and grow into healthy, capable and adaptable adults. There is possibly no higher duty in the world than that of being a teacher. It is also one of the most trusted positions in our country, and one that should be treated accordingly.
Unfortunately the officials at Spencer High, in particular Mr. Parham and his superiors who condone his behavior, appear to be completely negligent in this duty and lacking all respect for those who entrust their children and their futures to them. I cannot say whether this is due to simple anal retentiveness, or it is simply because they do not care, being the kind of simple minded bureaucrats who often run schools by the numbers, who’s only desire is more federal aid and grant money, instead of as the sort of compassionate human beings who actually can have positive affects on young peoples lives. One way or the other it is a travesty and those involved should be simply ashamed.
Schools should be places where our nations youth learn to expand their minds, see outside of the boxed commonly placed by the negative influences of society, and come to grips with the world around them and the knowledge and skills needed to succeed in it. It should be a positive growth experience, based around all the possibilities of what an individual can do, and dedicated to improving the individual. Unfortunately this is not the case, and definitely appears not to be so at Spencer.
Based on this incident I can only assume that Spencer is a perfect example of the wrong kind of school: An environment where the student’s world is shaped not by knowledge of what they can do, but by knowledge of what they cannot do. Where although the curriculum may put a glossy, pretty face to it all, the attitudes, behaviors and policies of the teachers and administrators shape the students idea of the world with negatives, rules and regulations about what they are not supposed to do. Yet another failing public institution, cracking down on personal rights and freedoms in an effort to retain some feeling of value and power (It costs too much and requires too much actual effort to educate, so the choice is made to dominate instead) and assisting those it claims to be helping only in making a quick trip straight into mediocrity.
Students who leave school only knowing rules, regulations and how not to act, have nothing available to them in life except to become submissive and work to achieve the goals, demands and desires of others. This is not a future, this is not hope – it is dirty, ugly, desperation and desolation of the individual disguised as “the truth”.
To take away a young mans connection to his only surviving parent, who is in a dangerous situation and may die at any moment, is failing to provide anything better than the draconian picture I painted above. It is failing to provide the nurture and support that is needed to actually teach, to help others to learn and grow, especially developing people like high school students. Such a strict adherence to rules and regulations, completely devoid of any human compassion or understanding, is exactly why so many students drop out, get failing grades and never end up going to college. Such negative behavior and oppression of the individual may be why less and less students may be why Georgia ranks on the lower end of the scale in terms of education. Such a poor ranking, such a poor delivery upon the promise of educating and enabling young people, can be directly explainable by a widespread occurrence of behavior such as was displayed to Mr. Francois. I mean, would any reasonable person feel any desire to listen to, or continue listening to, people who would commit battery and attempted theft of personal property in an effort to enforce a rule about cell-phone use that is senseless given the circumstances of the students phone usage? Would any reasonable person not get angry about that? If you are honest with yourselves, I think you have no choice but to empathize with Mr. Francois, who you treated without empathy, understanding or fairness. If you cannot empathize with him, and fall back on “well rules are rules” then there is no psychologist or psychiatrist in the nation who would not say you are damaged goods, suffering some form of a character disorder.
Treating people without empathy, without any sense of fairness, because the rule book says all people are to be treated alike, is not the kind of thing educators should rightfully stand for, it goes against everything education should be about. Suppression of the individual is not education. Those such as Mr. Parham who attempt suppression of the individual, and then make petty excuses and lame justifications for it are disablers, destroyers of hopes and dreams. Perhaps once someone did that to them and they feel the need to do the same to others, out of a petty since of spite, or perhaps they are just mentally broken – Either way, they are wrong, disgusting individuals and should be ashamed of themselves and the damage the inflict upon the youth entrusted to their care.

Such behavior is why I will refuse until the day I die to enter my child into any public school in this or any other nation – such soul crushing, emotionally disabling centers of indoctrination of truly mindless “politically correct” opinion and thought are a waste of tax dollars, and I refuse to assist paying the salaries of people such as Mr. Parham by adding another child’s name to the roster of children a school receives money for. It is a waste, a horrible and tragic waste of not just money, but of minds. It is destroying our future. The greatness of our nation will fall because of public schools and educations like Mr. Parham turning out legion upon legion of mindless, conformist, submissives who have been broken and molded away from being unique, dynamic and creative individuals and who lack the skills needed to keep America competitive in the rapidly changing political and economic world.

Sincerely,
Morgan Atwood

Breaking Characters...

I'm working on my novel, and coming to the conclusion that its all too... nice. In the entire scheme of it, the chaotic, violent, emotional torrent that is its thematic idea, its still too nice. I'm having trouble coming to grips with how broken my main character needs to be... the insanity and obsession that drive him.
How broken can you be, before you are no longer redeemable?