My lawyer...

Got to talking with a friend tonight about this fellow I know. He's about 6'2" of Illinois farm-boy (all grown up and entering his golden years farm "boy"), and has some rather peculular habits.
He owns a Mossberg 500 shotgun named "Buffy the Vampire Slayer", just "Buffy" for short. He also owns a Desert Eagle, in .44 magnum as I recall, that he calls "Momma" and carries around in a bowling ball bag. When he was living the bachelor life a couple years ago, while going back to school fo rhis law-degree, he spent a lot of time in a large leather recliner in his living room... and was pretty much surrounded by guns, knives and tools of mayhem, most of which you couldnt see, but he could get to very quickly.
Very calm laid back guy, good sense of humor and genuinely likes people... fun guy to hang around with. Has had many interesting experiences, and came away with some well formed ideas (such as Karl Gustav sub-guns are good, the three-round burst is definately a winner in combat).
A good guy to know... and thats why he's my lawyer.

"I'm the innocent bystander
Somehow I got stuck
Between the rock and the hard place
And I'm down on my luck
And I'm down on my luck
And I'm down on my luck

Now I'm hiding in Honduras
I'm a desperate man
Send lawyers, guns and money
The shit has hit the fan

Send lawyers, guns and money"