Control & Faith

One of my very dearest friends, perhaps my dearest friend, has been having a problem balancing her need for control with her religious views which require relinquishing complete control to God.
I was, to say the least, fairly blown away to hear this coming from her because of her past history with her religion - in fact our history with that religion (I dabbled... well, actually seriously tried to be one of the faithful, but that nose-dived - although I sincerely tried to walk that road, the sincerity of my effort was my love for her, not for the religion, and no love is strong enough to support a lie, so I stopped lying.) Her religion has always seemed to me to be strong with her - something that I have both lamented and respected a great deal.
It is this issue of control that I lamented - I believe in freedom a great deal, beyond other men and God and law, and never found it within the laws of any religion. Every claimed truth, and professed "way to heaven" has always left me with the distinct feeling of being caged - forced on a guided tour through a museum that I know there are more exhibits in.
My understanding of God, which I have come to through being a wanderer in the spiritual sense and the teachings of many (From Jesus and Sidharta, to the very friend I speak of now), is not of a God who requires all that - who requires that the very essence of life, be given up to an idea of who or what He is, and could do for you if He had all that. I dont believe God needs all that - and I dont believe God is a dog and pony show for any of that either - Pennies for the popper and pay for the performer, but prayer doesnt buy services. What I know of God, what I have learned and seen of the Creator/Great Spirit/Higher Power, doesnt support that idea. It is not neccessary to be an automaton, to live in harmony and love with the higher power.
Free will is perhaps the strongest part of purely human nature - and the idea proposed by saying we must give up our freedom and our will (free will) to that unknown force that made us all, to be loved by Him, is absolutely contrary to common sense, and to the nature of the heart.
Love is a free and willful thing, and thats a two way street. No one requires a lover or a loved one to give up the very core of who they are, using love as a hostage to receive that. It is not in the nature of love - and I cannot imagine that greater love being so different from all the rest as to be that way. Have never seen it.

My belief, how I relate to the spiritual, the Creator, and the notion of freedom is a hard thing to explain. Essentially, I believe in both. I find freedom in the spiritual journey, comfort in keeping myself in harmony with it, and guidance in that comfort if I listen. I believe in a creator, God if you will, who is the beginning, the end and the one and all with everything, in the greatest of balances, harmonies.
I believe in faith, as a personal involvement in the spiritual and a belief in elements of the spiritual, God and Angels, The Great Spirit and other Spirits, The Creator, however you wish to phrase it. I believe that when it is truly a relationship of honesty, honesty about the natural order and all components of it, and living in loving harmony with the nature of the world and the spiritual (in the end these are the same - the spiritual is in all things) to the best of ones ability, the name of the Creator is not important. Our names, our ideas of form and shape, of thought or speech, are in our terms, to our understanding - they serve for us, but in the greater sense they are but dust on the wind: There are many particles of dust each of them reflecting light differently, in different angles, but it is all the same light - all from the same place. The relation of the size, shape and displayed color of each floating grain, to the sun itself is almost nothing, but if a reflecting bit of dust was all the nature of your eyes allowed you to see, it would be how you understood the sun and light - such are the names for God. Faith in God, in the spiritual, that strength to believe and work for spiritual harmony with all that is, is whats important.
There is a saying in a series of novels I've been reading which I really like, "There will be water if God wills it". I find myself using that a lot - Its not exactly a belief in fate, but it is a trust (a part of my faith) that as I go along in my life, things happen for a reason. I make choices, and for every action an equal and opposite reaction, but if I am in harmony these happenings, even the worst of them, carry me forward on my journey, and bring me closer to myself and the spiritual, God.
Its not about giving up our choices, our control, as a proof of our devotion to an idea - Its about going with the flow, letting what happens carry us forward into greater understanding, harmony and connection, with ourselves, the world around and the spiritual. In the end, we are all part of the same great infinite.

What the greater good, the end result, is I cant hope to know or imagine. Many things are bigger than ourselves. It is my belief that if our harmony and learning, the connection to the spiritual, come to some level of integration we can move on to the next place, the next step in this greater thing called life - the next session of classes with the Creator.

I hope my friend can come to find her balance, her harmony. Maybe the opportunity will arise to share my thoughts with her, and maybe they will help her. Because this is important – Not religion, not going to a particular building to worship, those are tools that I believe some people do truly need to make these connections, but that I think can only serve to hinder others in making their connection with the spiritual, finding their harmony, and hearing the voice of God within all things. That is what is important, that balance. In harmony is learning, in learning is balance, in balance there is connection, and from that connection is learning – the great wheel turns ever onward.