Monday, October 31, 2005

Día de los Muertos

The day of the dead (Dia de los Muertos) is actually tomorrow, but since Halloween is today I'll act like the typical gringo and mix the two up, a little.

These three days, Halloween, Dia de los Muertos (also All Saints Day) and All Souls Day, are days to celebrate, make merry and take part in good food, good drink and good company.
Halloween is a great way to celebrate, especially if its really made into a family thing. But its not just all about costumes and candy.
Remember those who have gone before, remember those who made possible for us, and celebrate them - their lives, and the journey they took beyond these lives.

People are so damn funny about death.
People are afraid of death, they are afraid of dying - They fear their loved ones dying, they cannot see beyond the shell and when it dies, they are lost without that person to see, touch, talk with. Because no-one likes that feeling, losing someone, many people come to fear death and dying. They fear their own death, they dont want to be sick, they dont want to be old, they look at what they have done, or not done, and are dissapointed, they look at their shit (possessions) and dont want to be without it.
We have developed a culture that regards death as an unnatural thing, and fights it tirelessly, wasting so much energy against it. When someone dies, even naturally, it becomes a tragedy for most people. Death is evil given form - a thing to be feared, reviled, and attacked.
Personally, I find this very sad. Maybe thats why I love it that there are cultures who celebrate death, and the dead.

Life has one guarantee, and only one - Death. Some day you will die. I will die. The people we love will die. We all die. Death is not the end. Death is not a bad thing. It is the first step on another journey.
We celebrate Birth, the other essential element of life (the balance, the yin to the yang) - Why not celebrate Death?

Two Essentials - Birth and Death - One Guarantee. What you do between, thats up to you. Do it well.

Friday, October 28, 2005

I Feel Entropy

I'm Twenty today.
One of the benefits of having an interesting life and an excellent memory is that, at Twenty, I feel old. And young, at the same time. I can look back on my life, particularly the last ten years, with a great sense of accomplishment - and a great deal of experience, hard learned lessons and hard won wisdom. And with that in mind, I can look forward with a great sense of curiosity. It can only get more interesting.
At Twenty, I have never had a real job. I've worked for my family business (a cattle ranch), and been paid for various work on neighbors ranches, or similar services, but I have never had a formal "job". That said, I have successfully run my own business for the last five years.
I am a published writer and poet.

I grew up fast, as a kid. I've always been mature.
Some days I feel like I missed out on having childlike sense of wonder... others, I can spend twenty minutes watching a red-tailed hawk floating on a thermal without once moving his wings, and wish as hard as I can that I could feel what that was like.
Every day I am thankful for my experiences, even (maybe especially) the hardships. What does not kill you, makes you stronger. I am not dead yet... not for a long long time.
I have much journey left to complete... and I am looking forward to it with an intense desire and passion.

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Finding a little Mercy

Kris Kristofferson on the radio
and we’re leaving it all behind
Running the highways into America
Through the green of Tennessee
Rolling brown of the plains
Opening into the west
Truths never seen
In the lies of the storyteller box
And a little mercy is harder and harder to find…

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Driving Home





Where I live is about 40 miles from anything even resembling blacktop road. The dirt-road leads out and around the end of a mountain, and through some really lovely country. With my new camera in tow, I decided to shoot some shots of that country as I made my way home this afternoon. Luckily, it happened to be raining off and on as I drove, and stopped to shoot. Made for some nice shots.

The mountain seems to have moods. Depending on the light, the weather, your angle, it can look completely different one day to the next, or even minute by minute. Each presentation, dark or light, small or rising huge from the country around it, seems as if its another expression of the spirit within the rock.
The shot with the windmill in the left of the picture if from, essentially, my front yard. Just inside the property fence, front-yard is about 100 yards behind me.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

New Camera

Got a new camera today for my upcoming birthday. Not anything super=duper, but a good all around camera, significantly better than the five year old piece of shit I've been using.
Stand by for better pictures.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Of Rifles and the Red Queen


I grew up a cowboy. My parents own and work the ranch that my mother’s parents owned and worked, and that my grandfathers parents homesteaded. All the trappings of the cowboy life, going back more than one hundred years, are all over this place and often used right along-side new, modern, gear. The saddles of my grandfathers are in the tack-room, next to mine less than 20 years old. Spurs my grandfather made in his forge, or ones he repaired that were older than him are still used regularly. Other horse tack he owned, made or repaired is used. We used the branding chute he'd engineered and built until only a few years ago.
And the guns - the guns of several generations sit side by side. My grandfather had a Colt .45 revolver that had been made before he was born. He had several lever-action Winchester rifles, two of which were about as old as the Colt (and that he died before he fully repaired). And he had a 1913 Erfurt Luger, which was his carry gun later in life.
The Luger stands out among the rest as the most modern design (although not manufacture, his personal Winchester .30.30 was made later than that), and most incongruous of the group. It is a modern semi-automatic pistol, firing the smaller, more modern, 9mm Parabellum and arguably a purposefully designed "fighting handgun". In my opinion, its one of the finest arms ever built. His is still in spectacular condition, and to hold it in your hand is to purely feel the gunmakers craft at its finest.
I don’t think my grandfather chose it as his carry gun because of its fighting prowess, higher rate of fire, or greater capacity over his Colt .45 - I just think he liked it. It was easier, lighter, and quicker and in better condition than his much worn .45, and probably just felt good to him. He was, by all accounts, a hell of a shot with both, and very capable with both. When the chips were down my grandfather had proven more than once he could hold his own with any weapon put into his hand, from his single action revolver to a Browning machine-gun.
I am personally a fan of the Luger for similar reasons. In my life its greater capacity, higher rate of fire and more generally modern design as a fighting arm become important. Its not one of my go-to guns, its a family keepsake not a work tool.
The .30.30 my grandfather favored is a work tool however. It’s my go to rifle for checking the pastures, and problems with cats and coyotes. Its also my go-to for a fighting rifle, should a problem with a two-legged predator ever arise here. Its great ammunition capacity and faster rate of fire make it superior to my bolt-guns, it’s also smaller and easier to handle in confined quarters or fast movement than the larger rifles. But it’s not perfect. It’s not the ideal "fighting rifle" anymore.
There are tools with higher capacity, even faster rates of fire, improved close-quarter handling, and better fighting accessory options. Tools that are in the hands of the criminals, as well as in the hands of law-abiding citizens.

Once upon a time, even fairly recently in this part of the world, a gun like a lever action Winchester was enough. Not just for protecting yourself/your family, from criminal assault. No. It was enough for everything. Hunting, protecting livestock, slaughtering stock or putting down injured animals – Everything.
Depending on your country (“country” is not the nation where you reside, it’s the type of terrain where your ranchito is), you might have a couple – a carbine length in a lighter caliber, and a full-sized rifle in a heavier caliber. But a lot of people just had one. Here the .30.30 can take down most things you’ll meet, game and predatory animals, and works well in this type of country.
I know men who grew up in the conditions that supported that. I have known men, I think they are all dead now, who lived lives that depended on one rifle, entire lives.
I love that idea of one rifle – one rifle that was good enough to put meat on the table, tend to your livestock (your welfare), and defend your family against attacks. One, simple, elegant, rifle that can do all that like the Model 94 Winchester.
But, that era has passed.
Its evolution, the area of evolution between predator and prey, particularly the “Red Queen” principle where-in rapid evolution within a species is prompted by an increase or evolution of the threats against it. As in the character in Lewis Carroll’s through the looking glass, the Red Queen, who has to keep running faster and faster just to remain standing still.
Evolutionarily, as one species evolves it develops an edge over other species in survival – both over the species it preys upon and the evolved defenses of that (or those) species, and also an edge over competing species that lack this new “edge”. To keep up, the other species (prey and competing predator alike) have to evolve, or “run faster”. This is the evolutionary equivalent of an arms race.
In predator/prey interaction entirely within the human species, this has become an arms race, literally.
No longer can you have one rifle. A battle rifle is not a rifle to pack on your saddle, and the rifle you pack on your saddle is not the one you really want when you pop around that corner at 3 AM to find four guys with pistols standing in your living room.
In some ways, I gladly accept the necessity of evolution.
In others, I long for the idea of that simpler world, simpler time.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Junk! Just Junky!

I had dinner with my mom and grandmother the other night, and was sitting in the living room watching TV with them afterwards. Was talking to my mom about something I'd read on the internet, the important jist of which which involved armadillos lying upside down in the road.
About five minutes after I'd mentioned this to mom, my 91 year old grandmother suddenly erupts with a cry of "Junk!"
We both look at her.
"Just Junky!"
We both say "What?" at the same time.
She points at me, "You, talking 'bout them girls lying upside down in the road with pillows!!"